Choosing A Lifetime Partner

Social and Counseling Day at St Pauls Highfields

Today I was invited as a guest speaker at the Social and Counseling day, St Pauls Highfields Harare under the theme:

“Make a Choice, Get up and Go…” Joshua 24:15, Micah 2:10 & Deut 1:6-8”

The event was being organized by the Anglican Youth Association of Harare. Some of the guests included Mrs Avril Dhlamini, Rev Fr B.C Gwashero and Pastor Rupere. When I got a phone call from Mrs Dhlamini requesting me to go I was a bit hesitant. Coming from a very long and hectic working week, I was planning to dodge the invitation so that I will allow myself to sleep in and take some much needed rest. But when I woke up this morning, I told myself that I must go regardless how tired I was & indeed, I don’t regret the decision; If there is one person who benefited the most from this event, it was me.

I had an opportunity to interact with the youths and get to know them and did a bit of mentorship and motivational speaking. Fr Gwashero had the following words to share with the youths:

Fr Gwashero –Choosing a lifetime partner

In whatever we do, it is important to know what we stand for and be clear with what we want out of your lives. It is important to acquire wisdom from God and make it our daily bread. Principles of choosing a life partner are crucial and they have a huge effect in determining our future. As we move from the primary stage to secondary stage in life, we need to understand the responsibilities that come with adulthood. As a Christian it’s crucial to try living a mistake free life by all means. When it comes to marriage, note that marriage is a sacrament and it is a covenant that should never be broken. Once you decide to marry someone, make sure it goes according to God’s will and that you don’t regret the decision. Once you say I do on your wedding day, know it’s a sacrament that gets to be sealed in Heaven and should not be broken. It is not a heat and run situation like in a game of cricket.

Here are the seven principles that should guide us in the process of choosing a life partner


1.Do not marry a non believer who will compromise your faith.2 Corinthians6 vs 16-18. Light and darkness should never mix. Ask yourself is the person you call your girlfriend or boyfriend challenges your faith to keep growing? Does he/she inspire you to be a better person and make you keep growing in Christ? Does she stand in the values of God? If not, you may have to reconsider. If you meet a non believer, no matter how handsome or pretty or attractive they maybe, if they refuse to go in the line of God ask them why they don’t like God. If you can’t change them, then its best you change your route and leave them alone but keep on praying for them that maybe one day they will see the light. Don’t ever ignore the important fundamentals and the red flags. Don’t be deceived by the looks alone or physical aspects. Know that courtship and dating is like examination time, don’t ignore the fundamentals!

2.Do not get married when you are too young. Marriage is for adults, who can make deep-seated decisions. Getting married and starting a family comes with a lot of responsibilities that require a lot of dedication and commitment. Getting married while in your teens is highly discouraged. If you marry while too young, chances of getting divorce are high as well.

3.Do not marry based instant feelings of lust. Marriage is more that the physical appearance of someone and satisfying immediate feelings. There should be more substance, something that will still hold you together even when all the good looks are gone.

4.Sexual intercourse is designed for those who are married. There should be clear understanding that marriage is a fusion of cultural, mental, physical, intellectual, social and sexual connection between a couple. You should be able to relate with your partner in all aspects of the fore mentioned. You should be able to bond with whoever you wish to marry. If you start occupying your mind with sexual desires while still dating, it corrupts your mind and will lead you into temptation and the urge to indulge in sex with your partner. And this is not favorable in the eyes of God.


5.Do not get married under pressure. Internal and external pressures are both included here. Never get married from self induced thoughts like “I am ugly, I may never find anyone else who will love me as much, or I am too old now, if I wait any longer no one is going to marry me”. Never allow yourself to succumb to pressure, wait on God’s time; it is the best. Do not marry because your family is putting you under pressure and all your friends have families. If you are not ready and if God is telling you otherwise, be patient and listen to His voice.

6.Do not get married as a status symbol because it is like building a castle on sand, the foundation is not strong and is bound to crumple. Everyone was created different by God and have a different calling, so if everyone around you is married and has a family; stand strong in your faith knowing that at the right time, God makes everything work for the good!


7.You should marry someone you have thoroughly taken time to know and understand. Don’t be blinded by love at first sight. Take time to know your potential partner, what they like and what they don’t like. Always be assertive and know what you want, know yourself and what you stand for. Ask yourself what you want out of your relationship and make sure you don’t compromise. You may never fully understand a person but do get to know the fundamentals & see if you can tolerate them or not before you say yes to marriage. Do not marry someone you have known for less than a year, spend time together and get to know each other. Above all be responsible and take care of yourself.

Re-Invent Yourself

It occurred to me that what might have been of significant importance a year ago could be totally irrelevant and tacky a year on. But if we choose to be blind and “be down for the count” of this inner shift, we could find ourselves still living by values we have long outgrown. You see, in life there simply comes a time when we are no longer happy with things that used to give us joy, it could be a career, a home, the town we live, or our own relationships. Things start getting craggy & the people in our lives no longer understand us and we no longer understand them. What used to be tolerable is suddenly unbearable such as a venomous relationship. The outcome of this could lead to despondency, restiveness, inner conflict and a life that is somewhat superficial and one-dimensional. We find ourselves being angry at the wrong people and hurting the feelings of those around us;who actually care because we fail to take care of the problem that lye deep within us and keep on allowing our past to haunt us.

Don’t wait too long to take action, it’s your life and you live it once so you better make it count. Remember there is more to life than being stuck in a pathetically abusive relationship. And by abusive it’s not only corporal abuse um talking about; poignant abuse does count as well. Don’t be stuck or caught “having forty winks”; love yourself enough to walk out and move on with your life. All human beings do grow and when we have outgrown our present circumstances, it could be time to move on or better still it could be time for reinvention.

Personally, I have taken some re-invention journeys in my life from career changes, to relocation to self-employment to ending toxic relationships. As long as your re-invention is a blessing to yourself and those around you, I say GO FOR IT. If the rhythm of life changes beat, it could be the perfect time to seek some re-inventions. Don’t be stuck in abusive relationships, there is more to life than someone foot stomping you. Keep your head up and move on. You deserve the best out of your life so perhaps it’s time to do something about it, Some Re-Invention On The Move!
You are Beautiful; God created you in His Image so love yourself and take care of yourself. Even when you feel hopeless in your situation, remember God cares, His grace is sufficient enough to see you through any obstacle.

Philippians 4:13
“I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me, I have the power to face all conditions through the power Christ gives me”

Miss Zimbabwe 2012 Finale

...and the winner is 'Drum Roll...'

Friday 27 April 2012.

It was a hive of activity at the HICC as people from all walks of life converged at Harare International Conference Center for the historic crowning of Miss Zimbabwe 2012. Artists to grace the event included the likes of Cindy Munyavi, Pauline Gundidza, Rocqui, Dereck Mpofu, Adiona, Willis Wataffi Afrika and the legend himself Mr Oliver Mtukudzi.

There were a total of 29 girls running for the Miss Zimbabwe crown. The theme for the 2012 Miss Zimbabwe pageant was “I am Zimbabwean" showing the nation of Zimbabwean and the world beyond how we are proud of our how heritage. As the nation of Zimbabwe celebrated its 32nd Independence, under the theme "Social and Economic Development through Youth Empowerment and Indegenization", the “I am Zimbabwean” was very befitting for the 2012 pageant.

By the end of the night, we saw,myself Ruvimbo Katiyo a delegate from Miss Zimbabwe-USA being crowned 2nd Princess while Petinah Nhamburo,1st princess Miss Mashonaland West 2011 was crowned 1st Princess. Bongani Dlakama Miss Bulawayo 2011 walked away with the much coveted crown of Miss Zimbabwe 2012. The Miss Zimbabwe 2012 pageant proceeded well against all odds and amidst all the challenges that the Miss Zimbabwe Trust faced along the journey. With that said, I would like to thank the Miss Zimbabwe trust for their dedication and tireless effort they put to make the pageant a success. As one of the rightfully chosen ambassadress of Miss Zimbabwe Trust for the coming year, I promise to do my best during my reign in-order to raise the banner higher for Miss Zimbabwe Trust within and beyond the borders of Zimbabwe. And I pledge to stay true to my roots,to raise Zimbabwe's flag higher on the International scene and carry my title with pride, honor and dignity.

I am Zimbabwean, Proud & Loud; Red,Green,Yellow,Black & White the colors of my flag,embroiled in my heart so that they Wont fade. Even beyond the borders of Zimbabwe,I stand tall & remain Proudly Zimbabwean!

I love my country #Proudly-Zimbabwean!